the well-bred grapefruit

Having DMed a few games now, I’m always surprised how scared most veteran players are of the DM. Every trap is assumed to have a chance to instantly kill players (even at low levels), every NPC is merely biding their time until they can best double-cross the players party, and every item is horribly cursed until (repeatedly) proven otherwise.

A healthy bit of skepticism, of course, is a good thing. Assuming that the DM is out to get you, on the other hand, is borderline paranoia.

The goal of a session is to challenge the players. I think most DMs take this a bit too far without realizing it, however, and turn it into a competitive thing; as if only by attempting to beat the players can they provide an adequate challenge. Or, perhaps at a baser level, it’s the only way to ‘win’ at being a DM.

Power can be a heady beast, and control issues are difficult to work with sometimes. Player A has been rather annoying lately, so maybe I’ll just turn that 19 into a 20 to teach him a lesson. Player B somehow figured out my clever plot twist a week before it was supposed to happen - time for them to fall down a well.

This tends to leave players, well, paranoid. I spend most of my time assuring players that I’m not out to kill them. A lot of the time it doesn’t work - danger and betrayal are both essential (in moderation) to interesting battles and stories, so inevitably my “good guy” credibility takes a hit every time they perceive a challenge as being too hard.

Perhaps the best advice I’ve ever read on this subject was that, to an extent, control of the game’s direction should be as much in the players’ hands as it is in yours. This creates a more cooperative experience which is, generally, more entertaining for everybody: the DM has the challenge of staying one step ahead of the players so that they don’t totally run the board, and the players don’t have to sit back and ride the DM’s railroad. Perhaps not the best idea if you’re a control freak, but if you’re looking to have fun this seems like the clear option.

So why do most DMs appear to be out to kill their players?